Those are Isaac Mizrahi's parting words to the poor unfortunate who finds himself out of the race for super fashion show stardom. It's his Heidi Klum dismissal. The 3 words that will haunt the shattered contestant , and we the audience once he's uttered it about 2 or 3 times more. On the first episode he said it at least twice.
Well the first episode got off to a rollicking start in total copyright infringement fashion. It is a poor man's project Runway and that isn't saying much. Especially, when you consider PR is about as bankrupt a sorry assed scripted pseudo reality show can get. The Fashion Show starring the irrepressible Isaac( I'll do absolutely anything vulgar, affected, crass and insipid ) Mizrahi and Kelly(where the hell did they dig her up?and by the way, who is she and what credentials if any does she have as a judge/host/critic) Rowland and Fern ( I can get you a venue, lights, seating and a steamer for your runway show, but it's gonna cost ya) Mallis, and a special guest judge from the heights of 7th Avenue Aristocracy. In this case it was the humble and benevolent uber design genius Ellie Tahari! WOW!!!!!
The "talent " was iffy at best and appeared to be the rejects from PR. The most memorable by far was the evil latin cross dressing dwarf Merlin. He snapped and bitched his way through the first mini challenges and managed to alienate every contestant in the first 10 minutes. He undoubtedly alienated the whole viewing audience . For this reason he will easily be every ones favorite and the show's nemesis. In the self confidence dept. he's got it hands down. Nothing shakes him. He is totally and utterly politically incorrect , selfish, controlling ,self absorbed and bent on undermining all the others. He's clearly got what it takes to shine in this biz: a smidge of talent and a frightening attitude. His drag is a bit off putting but I guess he's the latin version of Thom Browne; inappropriate and ludicrous get-ups....but again those are magical ingredients.
The challenges and the whole concept of the show complete with the arch editor from some marginal magazine makes it just an ersatz version of it's step sister Project Runway.
Why this gang got together to put on such a silly and sad sloppy seconds version of the original is just beyond me. It's not like watching a car wreck. It's more like watching the folks who will end up in all that twisted metal get into the car, not bother with seat belts, look for the car keys(which they can't find ) and eventually opt for taking the bus. In other words, the hook factor is missing. Nothing happened but bad , boring bullshit. The runway itself is the star of the show. The industry titans who watch the shows and judge are a bunch of B-listers. When Cynthia Rowley isn't even at the table you know they're scraping. But then again, it was the first episode so there's time for them to talk to Cynthia's people and get her on.
The piece de resistance was when they had a super duper socialite as one of the challenges for the "designers" to dress for a series of VERY important events she would attend. They need to design around her trademark tresses and enhance her mega-watt, high voltage fabulousness.....When the door opens and in slithers Tinsley Mortimer I almost threw my WII
remote wand through the screen of my 60"plasma.
At this point it was either time for more meds or work it through like Adam my therapist suggests when the world becomes all too much. So I'm working through this with your help. We have to fight the urge to look away because there is a life lesson to begleaned watching this "Reality Fashion Show". What that lesson is I'm not in the least bit clear but by season's end , I'm sure one of us will figure it out.
Let's keep in close touch. Maybe we can help each other through the horror and grief that will rain down on us . But never fear, Fluff is here and I've got at least 3 or 4 lives left. If this thing kills you, I will survive it and caution those who come after that the travel channel or that infomercial on freebie wheel chairs are more satisfying educationally and have more humor, like when Nana does 360's in her chair and doesn't hurl.
Til next week," Bye bye Darling."
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